When I let go...(originally written 6/2/2021)

 


When I let go...

Can I really let go? I feel like a part of me is gripping so tightly. But why? What sort of attachment could I have? I think if I could really let go I would feel so free, free for new things to emerge

New experiences

New flavors

New smells

I'm tired of the old stories, they rattle around in my head bumping into new things, maybe taking up too much space.

If I could let go

I would feel spacious

Am I afraid of that spaciousness?

What could I do with nothing but empty space?

How could I fill it?

Would I fill it?

Sometimes I wonder if I am afraid to release, let go

Release control

Surrender - If I could surrender all

Makes me think of a hymn from my childhood

I surrender all, I surrender all, all to Jesus I surrender, I surrender all...

I'm not in a place where I am comfortable with Jesus - but what if I could

What if I could let go of it all?

Surrender makes me think of a very definite release

One where you do not hold back, you do not hold on, no tension, no baggage, no lingering thoughts of what you would like to save, a complete and total release

Maybe like a computer, whose hard drive is being wiped, memory wiped to make room for new things, new stories, new material

What would it be like to look at the world through new eyes

My life, the world, circumstances, friends, family?

What would I collect?

Letting go - I feel these words so deeply,

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