Playing Catch Up



It seems that I am always doing this in one way or another. I set intentions, goals, aspirations or the like and then one week in - usually one week sometimes more, I just, fade off. Not really sure what the motivation is for dropping the goal or intention. Sometimes I think life happens and others I think I start feeling like I HAVE TO - which is something I struggle with all of the time. Often these goals, intentions, rituals, practices are things that I love to do, I feel like the me I want to be wants to do, or sometimes it is something I feel would make me feel better in the long run though I have no real passion for it. I could make a list of things that I think I would like to be the person who does - here is just some of those things

 - Wake early

 - Slow morning start

 - Meditation daily - 20 minutes

 - Yoga daily - 20 minutes

 - Time for quiet reflection - morning coffee or tea - stare into the back yard - 10 minutes

 - Floss daily - AM AND PM

 - Brush daily - AM and PM

 - Walk every day

 - Time in nature every day

 - Journal or write daily

 - Go to bed early

 - Eat an early, light dinner

 - Drink lots of water throughout the day

 - Quality time with Tim daily

 - White space on my calendar

- Hike every weekend

 - Beach time every month

 - Fast for 16 hours a day

 - No technology before bed - one hour before bed

 - Read for 30 minutes a day

Have you added up how much time this would take of the day? I know once I start listing - it starts to get overwhelming. All things I really love, or want to do - but in list form or thinking this is something I will do daily and the next thing I know I am curled up in bed for a half hour longer - or I am vegging in front of the TV or I am surfing the web, social media, or something kind of wasting time. Wasting time - which I don't have unlimited amounts of. When I hit 50 - I immediately thought I need to double down - make sure I am making each moment count. So, what from this list is the ONE thing I really want to make sure I am doing? But they all look like things I want to be doing. Writing daily - something I feel pretty strongly about, if I want to be a writer. I need to write.  Just 5 minutes right? Which is what I have told myself about yoga, just get on the mat for 5 minutes - just mediate for 5 minutes - what is it about the commitment to do something good for ourselves - that makes us want to avoid it at all costs? When you find out, please let me know.

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