Things I remember (May 2020)

Things I remember

1. Playing in a pile of fall leaves
2. Carefully taking the cicada shell off the two towering pines
3. Asking if I could lick the batter bowl of a cake or corn bread
4. My father making a swing set
5. Hours of tetherball
6. Crushing red brick and adding water to paint the fort
7. Running so hard I could not breathe and my lungs felt they would burst
8. The crack of the handlebars of my bike on my face and feeling the shards of teeth in my mouth mixed with blood metallic and thick
9. The arc of the newspaper as I fling it from my bike to hit the porch just below the screen door and the satisfying WHACK when the paper hits the door
10. The hot and sticky summer nights laying in bed with a metal bowl of cool water with a wash cloth in it to wipe down my hot skin - which would cool me off for just a little while
11. Sunday drives in the countryside on hilly and curvy roads looking at trees and farmland and cows and horses and people mowing and the sun setting over the next rise with the flicker of lightning bugs starting to dot the horizon
12. Sitting at the kitchen table hunched over my math book with my father asking me if it made sense - hot tears falling down my cheeks as I decide of lying would be better in this moment
13. Burning small bits of paper on my piece of sandstone that looks like the state of Ohio in my room. As the paper curls and the smoke whisps up I breathe the smell of burnt paper and remember to crack the window so the smoke alarm doesn’t go off again
14. Laying in my bed in the attic listening as the thunder rolls across the rook shaking the house at its core the wooden windows rattling with the sound and the sharp light from the lightning brightening the room for a few seconds feeling the electricity in the air
15. Waking to a friend - cannot remember who a the moment, who has shook me awake in a terror filled voice what is that sound? I mumble what sound? And she says the house is shaking, and I say its only the train
16. Positioning the foam mattress at the top of the stairs, it has taken all three of us to maneuver it to just the right space and we look at each other, who will try and go down first? We older two look at the youngest and he looks at us with wide eyes and slowly perches at the top of the stairs looking down, he slides and tumbles in slow motion toward the large chest at the foot of the stairs, we hold our breath, he stops just before hitting it, we let the breath out of our lungs and decide we need one more piece of foam to cover the chest, just in case
17. Digging in the dirt along the back patio finding bits of glass and old metal keys trying to put in my first flower garden
18. Asking my neighbor if she would like to bike to the end of the street Buckman’s for some candy, she looks at me from across the street and says she cannot come. She is sad, she sits on the curb - she on her side and me on mine, and we shout across the street at each other
19. Piling into the car - tools in the trunk we drive windows down, it is getting later my parents are talking about how late it is, but we are still headed out. The light is just fading as well pull into this alley and drive towards the river - and park, we get out and my dad hands us a flashlight and says you will hold the light while mother and I weed the garden, I mention I am tired.