When I let go... Can I really let go? I feel like a part of me is gripping so tightly. But why? What sort of attachment could I have? I think if I could really let go I would feel so free, free for new things to emerge New experiences New flavors New smells I'm tired of the old stories, they rattle around in my head bumping into new things, maybe taking up too much space. If I could let go I would feel spacious Am I afraid of that spaciousness? What could I do with nothing but empty space? How could I fill it? Would I fill it? Sometimes I wonder if I am afraid to release, let go Release control Surrender - If I could surrender all Makes me think of a hymn from my childhood I surrender all, I surrender all, all to Jesus I surrender, I surrender all... I'm not in a place where I am comfortable with Jesus - but what if I could What if I could let go of it all? Surrender makes me think of a very definite release One where you do not hold back, you do not hold on, no tension, no b...
I rise at dawn just before the sun comes up from behind a rise in the distance. I woke from the sound of the rooster - it’s call breaking the silence as the darkness begins to fade and welcoming the sounds of so many birds - I hear them, the Cardinal, the Blue Jay, the Redwinged Blackbird - starting the chorus as if the rooster were the conductor and signaled it was okay to begin this day’s song. I notice my husband has already risen, I hear the faint sound of the tractor starting back towards the house. I pull my hair into a bun and quickly dress - my slip, and stockings, my dress neatly pressed and starched and head to the kitchen where I slide the black cast iron out and plop a lump of lard into the pan and I light the stove all while grabbing my apron and putting it on. Water is in the kettle, I quickly lift and replace it once I am certain it will hold enough water then walk to the fridge to grab a jug of cider left over from last year’s press. I will check the root cellar la...
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