I rise at dawn just before the sun comes up from behind a rise in the distance. I woke from the sound of the rooster - it’s call breaking the silence as the darkness begins to fade and welcoming the sounds of so many birds - I hear them, the Cardinal, the Blue Jay, the Redwinged Blackbird - starting the chorus as if the rooster were the conductor and signaled it was okay to begin this day’s song. I notice my husband has already risen, I hear the faint sound of the tractor starting back towards the house. I pull my hair into a bun and quickly dress - my slip, and stockings, my dress neatly pressed and starched and head to the kitchen where I slide the black cast iron out and plop a lump of lard into the pan and I light the stove all while grabbing my apron and putting it on. Water is in the kettle, I quickly lift and replace it once I am certain it will hold enough water then walk to the fridge to grab a jug of cider left over from last year’s press. I will check the root cellar la...
In this one you are about 20 years old. You are holding a large floppy hat, your hair is blown from the wind, you have a smile that lights up your face, it is summer, but not in the middle of summer, as the grass hasn’t started browning from days of relentless heat. You are wearing shorts and a long sleeved shirt, so I am pretty sure you have just come from the field. There is a dog standing beside you and the large tree that holds the rope swing is so small. You can just make out the entrace to the root cellar/tornado shelter behind you and then in the background you can make out the larger barn and the smaller sheds - everything is painted in the brighter blue. I often wonder who took the photograph. I am guessing it was grandpa - he was always the photographer. I also am curious if you are pregnant with mom in the picture or not - but your face is not lined with the ups and downs of life with its hardship, grief, adventure, pain, happiness, l...
It seems that I am always doing this in one way or another. I set intentions, goals, aspirations or the like and then one week in - usually one week sometimes more, I just, fade off. Not really sure what the motivation is for dropping the goal or intention. Sometimes I think life happens and others I think I start feeling like I HAVE TO - which is something I struggle with all of the time. Often these goals, intentions, rituals, practices are things that I love to do, I feel like the me I want to be wants to do, or sometimes it is something I feel would make me feel better in the long run though I have no real passion for it. I could make a list of things that I think I would like to be the person who does - here is just some of those things - Wake early - Slow morning start - Meditation daily - 20 minutes - Yoga daily - 20 minutes - Time for quiet reflection - morning coffee or tea - stare into the back yard - 10 minutes - Floss daily - AM AND PM ...
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