5/19/2021 - Big Magic by Liz Gilbert Do I have buried treasure within me? Sometimes I am sure that I do and other times I am not so sure. How to tap into it is always the question or how do I unearth it? I talked to my brother on the way home from the beach yesterday and he asked me how I thought about the things I write. I told him is the secret is that I don’t. When I am in the zone, I don’t think at all, I just write. It is when I think, bringing my mind into the equation, that I stumble - I freeze - I cannot seem to let the pen flow, or in typing, it is the curse of the cursor just blinking at me. It reminds me of the times in college when I would have an assignment due, people remarked on my procrastination and I’d say I’m thinking about it and when I quit thinking, that is when I will write. When it would come, that place of peace, I could be up for hours putting pen to paper or my hands typing on the keyboard. Ideas flowing freely. I would often try to create or stage that momen...
In this one you are about 20 years old. You are holding a large floppy hat, your hair is blown from the wind, you have a smile that lights up your face, it is summer, but not in the middle of summer, as the grass hasn’t started browning from days of relentless heat. You are wearing shorts and a long sleeved shirt, so I am pretty sure you have just come from the field. There is a dog standing beside you and the large tree that holds the rope swing is so small. You can just make out the entrace to the root cellar/tornado shelter behind you and then in the background you can make out the larger barn and the smaller sheds - everything is painted in the brighter blue. I often wonder who took the photograph. I am guessing it was grandpa - he was always the photographer. I also am curious if you are pregnant with mom in the picture or not - but your face is not lined with the ups and downs of life with its hardship, grief, adventure, pain, happiness, l...
When I let go... Can I really let go? I feel like a part of me is gripping so tightly. But why? What sort of attachment could I have? I think if I could really let go I would feel so free, free for new things to emerge New experiences New flavors New smells I'm tired of the old stories, they rattle around in my head bumping into new things, maybe taking up too much space. If I could let go I would feel spacious Am I afraid of that spaciousness? What could I do with nothing but empty space? How could I fill it? Would I fill it? Sometimes I wonder if I am afraid to release, let go Release control Surrender - If I could surrender all Makes me think of a hymn from my childhood I surrender all, I surrender all, all to Jesus I surrender, I surrender all... I'm not in a place where I am comfortable with Jesus - but what if I could What if I could let go of it all? Surrender makes me think of a very definite release One where you do not hold back, you do not hold on, no tension, no b...
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