Musings at 50

So it happens nearly every year - sometimes it happens in the Fall, sometimes in the Spring, and sometimes it seems like a January thing. I get this urge to THROW AWAY EVERYTHING!! I do not consider myself a hoarder - though when I watch a Hoarding show I think to myself, am I? I don't have piles of things you need to navigate through to get to any room in the house. We do have blank space on the floor but if you open any cabinet, drawer, closet door, you will see things artfully crammed into the space - tetrised (is that even a word) and stacked very carefully- only one way to stack works, everything else comes crashing out of the space if not stacked just so. I am married, so of course there are things I can get rid of - but there are things I think I should get rid up, but I cannot because I am not the only owner. My husband is definitely someone who needs to agree to get rid of certain things. We have a basement - so we can box things up and have them out of sight and out of mi...

Write a poem that asks and answers a question...when I post these 30/30 or 61/61 - these are based on a challenge for National Poetry Month (April) to write a poem a day - and this is a group on Facebook. The prompt is shared early in the day (or at some point the night before). For most of these I wrote them on my notes app on my phone and then transferred them to a document on my computer later. I participated in 2019 and in 2020 - and the group decided to stretch it from 30/30 to 61/61 due to COVID and the pandemic. Does she know me? There are times  she smiles But her smile  doesn’t quite  Reach her eyes That politeness  Ingrained in her To not show hurt Or sorrow  or weakness  A resource  at her command I take her hand She draws back but Quickly recovers  and looks at me Does she see me? Those kind eyes that have Stared into mine across The kitchen table Asking about my life My hopes and dreams Over a cup of coffee And cookies Is she okay in ...

Well, I landed on my goals, resolutions, and intentions for 2021. It was not easy and it did take me some time. At the beginning of the year I am often full of all sorts of ideas about how I would like the year to go. Many times I am looking at self improvement and making deals with myself about how this year will be different than the ones before. This time, after my post on 12/29/2020, I decided to sit will all of those whirling ideas and thoughts. Truth be told, I started thinking about things right around Winter Solstice. I would write things down and then sit with the ideas. I looked at 2020 with the help of my yoga instructor's New Years Exercise . I worked through 2020 on 12/31/2020 and then today, I set the space to work through the second half of the exercise - Clarify for 2021. I really enjoyed taking the time to reflect - though I will be honest with you I had originally intended to work with this piece last weekend. It felt rushed though, and so I decided I would let a ...

#bendinglight I walk in the forest The ground soft under my feet Pine needles, moss, and soft dirt Ferns unfurling with spring rain Sun peeking through the canopy  Of giant trees Treetops bending light Light resting on fallen logs Deep green moss Stones and mushrooms Beetles scurrying here and there  Light spotlighting small plants Pushing their way eagerly  To soak in the sun’s rays Shades of green and brown Splashes of orange salmonberry Pink bleeding hearts Drops of rain glisten like jewels I soak in the forest It soothes my soul

  Where do you stand on resolutions? I have been making them for quite a long time - it used to be a journal entry - or sometimes it was a list on a random piece of paper or on a page of my calendar or planner. Then, Facebook has memorialized my resolutions since 2009. I used to keep the list to about 5 or 10 - people had their opinions about it - how many do you actually accomplish? What do you tell yourself if you do not do them? Call them goals, accomplishments, resolutions or intentions - I love this ritual. I love I have reoccurring themes. I read Gretchen Rubin's book The Happiness Project  back in 2012 and inspired by the Happiness Project I decided to break it down by having one theme or focus a month. That only lasted until 2013 and I am not sure how successful I was. The thing is - I actually enjoy setting my sights on something - a goal, an intention, a resolution - a contract between me and me. The flip side can be when I disappoint myself...the negative self talk ...

#inthemargins I checked a book The other day Opened those old familiar pages Searched for a quote And happened upon a message Written in the margins It said, You matter My eyes welled with tears As I saw the heart shape Drawn next to it The writing was mine When I was young  Maybe thirteen or so But as I read it Now nearly fifty I wondered if my younger self Ever felt like she mattered Did she right it for her Or was it a message to someone Like me - years later Reading the message  in the margin

#personificationof  I fly my route  Along the Columbia  Near Skamokawa With the high sand dunes Where people crowd Playing with balls Lighting fires And wading along The shores My eyes narrow as I see the osprey Coming into my stretch He seems unaware Of my presence  He dips and hovers Then I come down From my lofty height We fight Though it looks Like a dance First I lead Then he leads We dip and soar Dancing along the wind Til he leaves In a huff And I take my place Being much larger As I the eagle Take my place Once more along The shore